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PawPaw’s Knee Actin’ Up Again, Lookin’ Like Rain
WAYNE — Put on your raincoats and drive cautiously, PawPaw just told us his knee is actin’ up again, and you know what that means. It’s...
Mar 18, 20221 min read
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Vat of Critical Race Theory Leaks Into Kanawha River
CHARLESTON — The citizens of Charleston and surrounding areas are suddenly woke AF after a large batch of Critical Race Theory was...
Mar 15, 20222 min read
518 views
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John Denver’s “Country Roads” Closed for Construction
RAVENSWOOD — West Virginia’s state song, John Denver’s “Country Roads”, will be undergoing construction later this month. Officials are...
Mar 10, 20221 min read
540 views
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Gov. Jim Justice Funds Russian Army
CHARLESTON – Governor Jim Justice, who currently still owes several million dollars in fines for damaging quaint streams in West Virginia...
Mar 4, 20223 min read
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Jim Justice Discovers Babydog’s Delta-8 Stash
LEWISBURG — Governor Jim Justice was enraged to find Babydog’s Delta-8 stash in her bikini drawer on Thursday. He was invading her...
Feb 28, 20221 min read
263 views
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W.Va. GOP Celebrates Black History Month by Firing Teachers Who Mention It
CHARLESTON — In honor of Black History Month, Mike Azinger (AKA Diet Derrick Evans) introduced an incredibly backwards and racist...
Feb 15, 20221 min read
183 views
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Tudor’s Heart-Shaped Biscuits Undergo Quadruple Bypass Surgery
ELKVIEW — Just weeks after voting “no” to forming a union, tragedy struck at a Tudor’s location in Elkview. Tudor’s Valentine’s Day...
Feb 14, 20221 min read
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Homelessness Ravages Charleston, Nevertheless Kayla Young Tweeted
CHARLESTON — A $2.1 million American Rescue Plan application was rescinded yesterday after a bunch of white people decided homeless...
Feb 10, 20221 min read
1,271 views
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Spotify Quietly Removes 113 Chapters from WV History Curriculum
CHARLESTON — Proponents of the “Anti-Stereotyping” Bill are outraged that Spotify quietly removed 113 entries of West Virginia history...
Feb 7, 20222 min read
99 views
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West Virginia Upgrades Science Books to New King James Version
CHARLESTON — The West Virginia Department of Education Finance Office approved funding for schools to upgrade their outdated King James...
Feb 3, 20221 min read
305 views
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Tim Irr Asks Erica Bivens if She Was Hit Down Low or Up High
HUNTINGTON — Tim Irr, the WSAZ anchor who is actively doing damage to our state every single day by choosing not to run for political...
Feb 1, 20222 min read
178 views
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Governor Justice Proves West Virginians Are Smart by Showing Everyone His Dog’s Genitalia
CHARLESTON — Governor Jim Justice ended his annual speech to the West Virginia Legislature by exposing his daughter’s b-hole and vajayjay...
Jan 28, 20221 min read
697 views
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WV Lawmakers Start GoFundMe Page for Black Lung Benefits
CHARLESTON — Representative Carol Miller’s office referred to the act of taxing coal companies responsible for slowly murdering their...
Jan 26, 20222 min read
63 views
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Study Reveals Carhartt Jackets Emit 5G Radio Waves
ALL AROUND YOU — A recent study performed by The University of Austin revealed that popular durable workwear company, Carhartt, was doing...
Jan 24, 20222 min read
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WCHS's Kennie Bass Behind The Wheel of Live Hit and Run Against WSAZ Reporter
DUNBAR -- Famed and beloved WCHS veteran Kennie Bass is the alleged driver of the vehicle that clipped a WSAZ reporter last night....
Jan 20, 20222 min read
11,209 views
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Ms. Frizzle’s Magic School Bus Unavailable to Rid Justice’s Body of COVID Due to Teacher Cuts
CHARLESTON — Ms. Valerie Frizzle, Ph. D., was unable to take her class into a human body riddled with the Omicron variant or COVID-19...
Jan 14, 20221 min read
281 views
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Gov. Jim Justice Tests Positive for COVID-19, Learns “Positive” Means Bad
LEWISBURG — Billionaire coal mogul with blood on his hands and high school girls basketball coach, Governor Jim Justice, received a...
Jan 13, 20221 min read
118 views
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Shelley Moore Capito Screams “Stop the Steal” After Being Cheated Out of Toughman Ring Girl Contest
HUNTINGTON — Senator Shelley Moore Capito entered and very horribly lost the Ring Girl Competition at this year’s Toughman. Judges told...
Jan 8, 20221 min read
153 views
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Special Metals Rebrands as "So-So Metals" After Losing Skilled Workers
HUNTINGTON — Special Metals workers have been on strike for over three months, and in light of losing 450 skilled workers, the company...
Jan 7, 20221 min read
78 views
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New WV Toll Policy Effective Jan. 1, 2022, Must Show Proof of Vaccination
W. Va. — Tolls are set to increase to $4.25 on the first day of 2022, which is not surprising. However, West Virginia Parkways...
Dec 27, 20211 min read
406 views
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