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Ramp Reporters Eagerly Await Next Natural Disaster
After riding an absolute life-altering 48 hour high, Ramp reporters are impatiently anticipating the next natural disaster to strike The...
Sep 2, 20211 min read


In-Person Classes Resume at Marshall Despite COVID-19 and Biblical Floods
HUNTINGTON – Marshall University decided to resume in-person classes on Monday evening despite skyrocketing cases of COVID-19 and an...
Sep 1, 20211 min read


Cargo Ship Blocks 3rd Avenue, Huntington
HUNTINGTON – A cargo ship carrying 15,600 containers of hot dogs and vape cartridges has become wedged in front of Marshall University’s...
Aug 31, 20211 min read


Rough N' Rowdy 15 Matchups Announced
This weekend is the 15th Rough N' Rowdy brawl at Charleston Coliseum and Convention Center in Charleston, WV. "The world's wildest...
Aug 28, 20211 min read


OPINION: Battle of Blair Mountain Could Have Been Prevented by Pizza Party
By: Scab Picket Today marks the 100th anniversary of the beginning of The Battle of Blair Mountain. As the state reflects on the battle...
Aug 25, 20212 min read


Sen. Joe Manchin Embarrassingly Shits Himself Yet Again, Everyone Laughs
CHARLESTON — In what was considered one of the most shamefully embarrassing scenes witnessed within the Capitol walls, Senator Joe...
Aug 24, 20211 min read


Coal Miner Writes Beautiful Rendition of Beatles Classic, Blacklung
MULLENS – A West Virginia man, Arlan Thompson, wrote a new version of the Beatles classic, Blackbird, about the easy, wheezy, beautiful...
Aug 21, 20211 min read


Jim Justice Comes Out as Bicoachable: Little Girls AND Little Boys
LEWISBURG — Children’s Basketball Coach and hobbyist Governor, Jim Justice, came out last week as “bicoachable”. A new word that we’ve...
Aug 20, 20211 min read


Babydog Justice gets Face-lift and Liposuction
CHARLESTON — Babydog Justice went under the knife three weeks ago and has resurfaced as one sexy ass boss bitch. She is looking very...
Aug 18, 20211 min read


No, Wrong Mystery Hole
ANSTED — WOAH! This isn’t an underground series of rooms where the walls and floors are built at angles to give the impression that there...
Aug 17, 20211 min read


25 Rejected West Virginia State Fair Booths
1. Cousin Kissing Booth C’mon, man. Really? These bullshit Appalachian stereotypes haven’t been topical comedy fodder for years. 2....
Aug 14, 20213 min read


Plans to open new Dollar General in Michael Brumage’s Asshole
WASHINGTON D.C. — After a regular checkup with his proctologist, it was confirmed that Michael Brumage has a nasty case of irreversible...
Aug 13, 20211 min read


Mylan Park Renamed "Unemployment Park"
MORGANTOWN — Mylan Park has been a popular sports and recreation venue in Morgantown for the last two decades, but as a result of the...
Aug 11, 20211 min read


West Virginia Nickname Changed to "The Mountain Lightning State"
CHARLESTON — Long revered as “basically the same thing as Mountain Dew, just cheaper,” The Wal-Mart Great Value Brand soda, Mountain...
Aug 10, 20211 min read


Camden Park Includes Meaningfully Written Obituaries with Cost of Admission
HUNTINGTON— How would you want to be remembered after plummeting to your death from a roller coaster last inspected in the 1970s? Well,...
Aug 9, 20212 min read


Delta-8 Variant Hot Spots Detected at Local Speedways
HUNTINGTON — A sudden uptick in Delta-8 found next to the cash registers at Speedway gas stations has raised some concerns among...
Aug 8, 20212 min read


DaBaby Dropped from ChiliFest, Pro-Life Organizations in Uproar
DaBaby is in hotter water than Chad O’Toole’s signature Ghost Pepper Anus Napalm Chili. The famous rapper was dropped from the list of...
Aug 5, 20211 min read


Morgantown Pothole Gains National Park Status
Another massive win for West Virginia conservation; a large Morgantown pothole has been added to the list of National Parks in the U.S.....
Aug 4, 20211 min read


Manchin’s COVID Coitus Cruise: Masks Worn, Social Distancing Discouraged
WASHINGTON D.C. — Senator Joe Manchin had a bipartisan sex romp on his houseboat on Saturday to commemorate not doing shit for people who...
Aug 3, 20212 min read


To Prevent Looking Gay, John Mandt Jr. Serves Bologna Sandwiches at WV Hot Dog Festival
HUNTINGTON — Owner of Stewart’s Original Hot Dogs and well-known homophobic delegate, John Mandt Jr., reportedly realized that he “looked...
Aug 1, 20211 min read
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